Why are we and others around the world still celebrating Festivus, a made-up holiday from a beloved ’90s Seinfeld episode?
It’s because we like it. It’s funny. It’s a good way to see what’s on people’s minds in a given year, because there is no Festivus tradition more important than “the airing of grievances.”
Surprise! There were a few things to complain about in 2020. For a fifth year, we’ve collected hundreds from our readers. Here’s a selection of what we received.
Family and Friends
Having to deal with my husband, who thinks “quarantine” means to sit on his butt and do absolutely nothing except aggravate me. I guess he’s been quarantined for 10 years now!
Karen Galvin, Port Richey
My idiot friends who think the election was stolen, Tom Hanks drinks the blood of stolen infants, Covid is a hoax, and not wearing a mask is patriotic.
Annabelle Lund-George, Jacksonville
I have a grievance with my students’ parents who have realized their kids suck and have decided to send them back to school anyway.
A. DeJesus, Orlando
Strangers and neighbors
Humans. Democrats and Republicans. The religious and atheists. Every race, both genders. I mean, everyone is just the worst.
David Montgomery, Tampa
People who come to the theme parks on a Saturday and talk about how it’s too busy. Did you think you were the only one in the world with the same idea? What made you think it would be slow on a weekend? It’s just ridiculous!
Christina Barnett, Orlando
There’s no reason to stand while the plane is deboarding.
Andrew Roca, Tampa
Those responsible for reducing our local boaters paradise to a sea of bumper stickers.
Brian Marton, South Pasadena
Why can’t dog owners walk THEIR dog on THEIR own lawn? If you think all is sanitary after you pick up your dog’s poop on my lawn, then please allow me to come over and poop on your kitchen floor and pick it up. Still think your kitchen floor is sanitary?
Cats Rule, St. Petersburg
Working at a top tier public golf course (on the golf cart staff), I am stunned by the new breed of golfers that return their golf carts filled with trash and beer cans. For $5 an hour we greet golfers on arrival, load the clubs on carts, clean their clubs, clean out their pig-slop carts and disinfect them so they are suitable for the next guest. The biggest slobs coming off the course are also the cheapskates. Would you do that to a waitress?
Workin 4 Peanuts, Brooksville
People that don’t tip their DoorDash driver anything, yet EXPECT them to drive 10 miles during a pandemic. Bonus points if they are ordering $50-plus worth of food.
Cameron W., Long Island, New York
Sports
The Lightning won the Stanley Cup, the Rays made the World Series, and the Bucs get Tom Brady, and we couldn’t go to any games.
Michael Berger, Riverview
Frisbee golf is not known as a dangerous sport. I needed a quarantine break. Imagine my surprise at slipping and breaking my leg and needing ankle surgery. On the first hole.
C.M., Hillsborough
News media
News sites that make you play whack-a-mole with advertisements and videos just to read an article.
David Mobius, Tampa
We found out UFOs are real in 2017 and then the news just moved on! Can we talk about this for a few days please? Seems like kind of a big deal.
Craig Tyler, Portland, Oregon
Tampa Bay Times biased reporting throughout the year.
John Smith, Lutz
That the Times asked me to ponder annoyances from a year that has annoyed me all year.
Tim Armstrong, Clearwater
Foodstuffs
I’m tired of people on Allrecipes.com substituting other ingredients and giving the recipe a low rating. Of course it’s not gonna taste good, Janet, when you use a chia egg instead of a real egg and crushed grapes instead of white sugar. What the heck is a chia egg?
Michelle Pasquale, Orlando
Coleslaw! I refuse to have anything to do with it until someone can tell me what either cole or slaw is!
John Rodriguez, Tampa
Entertainment
George RR Martin promised us “The Winds of Winter” this year and alas no book...hopefully only a few more moons to wait?!
Arjun Gandhi, Tampa
The “90 Day Fiancé” franchise is seriously addicting, and I’m hooked now! How did this even happen?
Susan Millett, Norridgewock, Maine
Any show on TV Land is 17 minutes of commercials and 13 minutes of show. Should be called Commercial Land.
Eric Cook, Hudson
Pandemic life
Yorkie took sick. Husband got furloughed from Disney. LOCKDOWN. Charlie sick again. Easter come soon. No candy. Day before Easter, Charlie made strange cries, took to vet. It was time. He died in my arms. No Easter, no grandsons, no Charlie. Fatter. Disney opens, no work for husband. Depression. Fatter. Husband fired. Depressed. Want out of 2020!
Maureen Walpole, Orlando
I know everyone is mouth breathing under those masks!
Garrot Stone, Tampa
Stop pulling your mask down to talk to me. I can hear you just fine!
Hayley Stevens, Bradenton
My grievance is *gestures broadly at everything.*
Brian Lorenzo, Orlando
I had to use scratchy brown paper towels because 2020 brought out the toilet paper hoarders.
Elizabeth Bond, St. Petersburg
When I am in the park walking the dog, sometimes last night’s dinner wants out badly. The park bathrooms are full of COVID-19. It is such a dilemma to die or poop my pants. 2020.
Bob Ruud, Woodstock, Georgia
Masks worn with the nose exposed.
"Marcel Proust," St. Petersburg
As a Canadian I have had just about enough of America. Fix your s--t baby.
Kara Moss, Winnipeg
People don’t know — or understand — what social responsibility is. They refuse to wear a small piece of fabric on their face while thousands of people around them die. People can be so callous. #serenitynow
Heidi Jones, Houghton Lake, Michigan
All of the people crying about being stuck inside for parts of 2020 with total disregard for those who are disabled and regularly stuck inside without a choice. I wish it would inspire more compassion for others who are dealing with psychical and mental disabilities which prevent them from leaving the house.
Effren Denson, Tampa
My freshman year of college got canceled, so I get to live with my parents for another year. Yay!
Owen Mitchell, Bozeman, Montana
Language
Lack of punctuation at Skyway toll booths. When using the Sunpass lanes the sign tells me:
Go
Sunpass
Is it rudely telling me to accelerate? Go! Sunpass. I’m doing my best; already 15 mph over and someone’s on my bumper. Is it a cheer? Go Sunpass! Yay! How ‘bout them Gators?!
— Paul Goodall, St. Petersburg
“SO”! Questions begin with “SO”, answers begin with “SO” and continue with “and so” and end with “Thank you SO much.” Give it a rest!
Danno R., New Castle, Pennsylvania
Shame on the media. They speak of Tampa and Tampa Bay as if they were the same place. Don’t they see that all this is very confusing to the rest of the nation.
Mario Nunez, Tampa Bay
Politics and government
Biden had to win the election 9,714 times (so far). Can we please be done now? Trump’s face is exhausting.
Jessica Empath, St. Petersburg
Election fraud so obvious you have to be blind not to see it.
S.P., Wesley Chapel
This administration’s COVID plan being no plan, and letting hundreds of thousands of our citizens die horrible, lonely deaths.
Linda Cunningham, St. Lucie
Sick of Democrats and media blaming Trump for coronavirus and acting like Republicans have done everything wrong.
Gregory Dent, Largo
Road construction on the same stretches of road...for literally years on end. Finish already! Move on! There are still more roads that need fixed!
Angela Davis, Spring Hill
Business
Nobody in my house can find anything in the fridge, because milk is opaque and comes in large containers!
Leigh Gilbert, Bloomfield, Michigan
My assessment at my condo was $19,000. Yes $19,000. I had to turn my life insurance in to pay for it. I’m 87 years old and will not have enough time to save and get buried properly. I have a funny feeling it was pushed through the process with no proper debate.
Arthur Medeiros, St. Pete Beach
My shoes hurt. And I don’t like car alarms.
Hugh Burns, Cincinnati, Ohio
The cashiers at the Kroger always ask me for my Kroger card while I’m busy loading groceries onto the belt. The Kroger is already on the threshold of hell, so why are they stressing me out? How many things can I do at once?
Nathan Shrader, Jackson, Mississippi
Those 16 ounce cans are too big to put in my can crusher. Haven’t the can crusher people ever heard of energy drinks? Yeah, I can crush it halfway so it’ll fit, but then I might as well finish crushing it the whole way!
Jack Moore, Lake Panasoffkee
Michelle
Hey Michelle, you snore too loudly.
JD Stutts, Memphis, Tennessee
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Readers, here are your top complaints for Festivus 2020 - Tampa Bay Times
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