DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a recent college graduate, and for the past couple of months, I have been trying to talk to this guy who is a senior at his university.
I say “trying” because it seems like this interest is one-sided, and it seems like he’s never free to see me. His reasoning for not hanging out with me is that he is an athlete who is always busy.
I know that this is a valid reason, but it still feels like an excuse. I believe that you make time for what you want. Should I wait for him, or am I wasting my time?
College Grad
DEAR COLLEGE GRAD: I think you know the answer to your question already.
You are right: If this man wanted to spend time with you, he would be doing exactly that in whatever way he could.
It’s time to ask yourself some tough questions. Did he ever act like he was interested in you? If so, when? What changed? Is it possible that once you left school, his interest waned? Or was there ever interest on his part at all?
If, indeed, it is simply that he is busy with his sport, the fact remains that he isn’t spending time with you or making you feel like it’s worth the wait. So stop waiting for him. Back off.
If he wakes up one day and realizes that you are “the one,” it may be too late. His loss.DEAR HARRIETTE: I was glued to the TV for the past four years because of how volatile things were in Washington, D.C. Frankly, I am exhausted by all of that, and I do not have the energy to focus on the new administration the way I did the last one.
I worry that I am making a mistake. I know that there are issues that I should be paying attention to, and I will be mad if things go wrong and I didn’t say anything, but I am just plain tired. I do not think that Biden has all the answers, and Congress is still pretty messed up.
How can I continue to be vigilant part-time?
No More Politics
DEAR NO MORE POLITICS: You are not alone. Many people on all sides have been hypervigilant over the past few years, worrying nonstop about our country’s future. The good news there is that people were paying attention, but we do still need that focus from everyday citizens.
You may want to focus differently. Do not watch the news every night; many programs are designed to get you riled up. Instead, read the newspaper. Do your best to look at more than one source, though, so that you can at least attempt to get honest context. Pay attention to the political analysts that you trust to learn their perspective on the issues of the day. That can include think tanks and other organizations that evaluate policy. You can also choose certain days when you will not pay attention to the news at all. The world will still be there in the morning.
Seek balance in your life. In this way, you can savor each day — and pay attention to how our world works. When appropriate, you can make your voice heard without being consumed by politics every day.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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April 27, 2021 at 04:00PM
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Harriette Cole: I like this guy, and I don’t buy his excuse for not seeing me - The Mercury News
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